Ashes Countdown
Is this the year for the “Bazballers”
Four days (and for this English Pom) nights to go, and the start of the most eagerly awaited Ashes Series since, well, the last one! Which isn’t strictly true as the build-up and anticipation ahead of the 2023 Ashes was something else here in England BUT, and this will perhaps confuse some of you so buckle up your cricket pads and take your guard as all will become evidently clear as we progress through the coming weeks and, well, I much prefer an Australian Ashes Series to those played here in England. Strange but true, as there’s nothing quite like time travelling from the bleak and cold darkness of an English winter at 3.30am to the sunshine of Perth or the magnificent coliseum that is the MCG in Melbourne on a Christmas Day evening as we all settle down with raspberry jam on toast, a duvet and a hot water bottle and wrapped like a sausage roll, it’s Day 1 of the Boxing Day Test. Absolute bliss! And when I say we I obviously mean me as forget the turkey, tinsel, the chap in the red suit tumbling down the chimney, and presents around the Christmas tree, an Ashes in Australia forever transports me to family Christmases, my first live Aussie Ashes in 1987, a Darren Gough hat-trick at the SCG, Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, being pummelled, year after year but never missing a ball bowled after ushering the family off to bed and anyway, is this the year for the Bazballers?
“Bazball” eh? What a silly name for the simple concept of trying to play attractive and entertaining cricket. But it’s here to stay and apparently (though I don’t put any score against such as hype) this has rather tunnelled under the skin of my Australian cousins in recent years, and hence, tabloid newspaper headlines of “No Balls” and “Baz Bawl” have greeted the New Zealand born England captain Ben Stokes (the papers are always keen to reinforce this point too!) and “Average Joe” for the second top run scorer of all time in Test Match cricket, Joe Root. It was ever thus and the war of words isn’t anything new (Joe Root bats with a “surfboard” on his front leg according to ex Aussie opener David Warner and “Dud Root” in the same tabloid papers accusing Ben Stokes of being a “cocky captain complainer”. All we need for a full house is Glenn McGrath predicting a 5–0 Aussie whitewash and someone to invoke “The Spirit of Cricket” and we’re off to the cricketing races!
No such war of words here or within the coming journals, more a loving appreciation of an eagerly awaited Ashes as I, although an English “Pom”, am more a connoisseur and unashamed huge supporter of the grand old game of Test Match cricket as despite its glamorous and TV friendly in house competition from the shorter form of the one-day game, Test Match cricket shifts with the tide of sporting contest, from hour to hour, session to session, an old ball to a new “cherry” or “rock”, where Harry Brook or England openers Zak Crawley and Ben Duckett are dashing quick runs, along comes the unrequited love of my cricket life: Scottie Boland, and 150–1 becomes 185–5, the tide turned, Tea approaching, a new ball taken, Boland roaring in……
Australian Squad and State of Play
Pat Cummins (Captain)
Steve Smith (Captain for 1st Test at least…)
Usman Khawaja
Jake Weatherald
Marnus Labuschagne
Travis Head
Cameron Green
Beau Webster
Alex Carey
Josh Inglis
Mitchell Starc
Josh Hazlewood
Scott Boland
Nathan Lyon
Sean Abbott
Brendan Doggett
Michael Neser
Deposed from their status as World Test Champions by a rampant South Africa in the English summer, I’ve forever monikered this team as a “Gang of Mates” and a relentless and ruthless team of Aussie winners, but Pat Cummins is absent through injury from the first Test Match in Perth, Josh Hazlewood too, and throughout a usual settled team we have a sixth (I believe…) different opening partner for Usman Khawaja in the shape of Jake Weatherald (No Sam Konstas?) and though the spine of the team now kicks in with Labuschage, Smith, Head, Green (possibly Webster) and Carey, who plays in place of captain Pat Cummins?
England Squad and State of Play
Ben Stokes (Captain)
Harry Brook (Vice-Captain)
Zak Crawley
Ben Duckett
Ollie Pope
Joe Root
Jacob Bethell
Will Jacks
Jamie Smith
Jofra Archer
Mark Wood
Brydon Carse
Gus Atkinson
Josh Tongue
Matthew Potts
Shoaib Bashir
England arrive in Australia after their brilliant 2–2 Series draw with India in the summer and a 3 day defeat of their “Lions” at Lilac Hill in their only practice match on Aussie soil ahead of The Ashes. Nothing new here, it’s the Stokes and McCullum way, as is arguably the stripping of the VC (Vice-Captain) position from Ollie Pope to Harry Brook, a mind game one assumes (or a kick up the arse?) for Ollie Pope to score BIG runs at Number 3 or else, Jacob Bethell waits in the wings. The spine of the team — from Crawley and Duckett through Pope, Root, Brook, Stokes and Jamie Smith is a strong one, but can the “Bazballers” keep Mark Wood and Jofra Archer fit and firing for 3–4–5 Tests?
Past Ashes Series in Australia (since 1990)
2021–2022
Australia 4 England 0
2017–2018
Australia 4 England 0
2013–2014
Australia 5 England 0
2010–2011
Australia 1 England 3
2006–2007
Australia 5 England 0
2002–2003
Australia 4 England 1
1998–1999
Australia 3 England 1
1994–1995
Australia 3 England 1
1990–1991
Australia 3 England 0
In short, England haven’t won a Test Match, let alone The Ashes, in 15 years. Good luck Bazballers!
What to expect/Predictions
Throughout all my cricket books to date (Ashes to Ashes, The Spirit of Cricket, Tea and Biscuits in India, and Rasputin and Raspberry Jam) I’ve always endeavoured to bring the reader a flavour for not only the sporting contest on the field but also the mad-dog Englishman lurking behind the words on the page and I hope this will be no different as despite the time of the year I have films to watch, the Mighty Reds of Liverpool to cheer on and through next to zero sleep I may (may) also include a chapter concluding feature entitled “Whimsy from Wisden” as I delve into my cherished edition of the grand old tome (1877–1984) for a game of the past from the city the current Test Match is being played in. I say “may” as I’m clearly setting myself up for a literary fall here, and talking of which:
Ashes Score
Australia 2 England 2
Top Run Scorers
Steve Smith (Australia)
Joe Root (England)
Top Wicket Takers
Scott Boland (Australia)
Gus Atkinson (England)
I’ve vacillated between 3–2 to each team (as I can’t foresee a drawn match), Scottie Boland for a bagful of wickets, and let’s hope Gus Atkinson plays!
4 days and counting…………
Thanks for reading. I’m aiming to cover every day of the coming Ashes Series and as mentioned above, here are my previously self-published books on the grand old game of cricket if you were looking for a Christmas present for a loved one, or maybe a treat for yourself:
"The Spirit of Cricket" - Link to Amazon
