Early exit looms for an embarrassing England at the World Cup
Sri Lanka v England, 26th October 2023.
England 156 all out
Sri Lanka 160–2
Sri Lanka win by 8 wickets
It was 9.30am local UK time and with the beginnings of a long Winter ahead, the perfect opportunity to start the sporting day nestled beneath a warming duvet and a piping hot cup of tea for company. The first ball of the day from Dilshan Madushanka was dispatched back past him by England opening batsman Jonny Bairstow on a fast looking and runs filled wicket in Bengalaru, racing across an equally fast looking outfield for 3 runs. So far, so cricketing unremarkable. But even a world away and snuggled beneath a pleasingly warm duvet it was easy to see that the delivery had brushed Bairstow’s pad before his bat followed suit with a more firm and decisive contact. Sri Lankan captain Kusal Mendis couldn’t be persuaded to refer this to the TV Umpire but had he done so, rather than England being 3–0 from the game’s very first delivery, they would have in fact been 0–1, and Jonny Bairstow trudging back from whence he came to the Pavilion, and with a cricketing “duck” for company.
For 30 minutes Bairstow and fellow opening batsman Dawid Malan made hay, punishing any wide and wayward bowling for repeated boundary 4’s and at 45–0, England had made a rock solid start in the first of a series of “must win” games that any defeat will see them ignominiously dumped from the World Cup as limp and lame defending Champions.
An hour later they were 88–5 from just 19 overs, openers Malan and Bairstow followed back to the Pavilion by single scores from captain Jos Buttler, Liam Livingstone and Joe Root, with the ex captain ridiculously run out in a calamitous hour for the defending Champions.
So I went to the cinema instead!
Self Published Book - "The Spirit of Cricket"
Self Published Book - "Ashes to Ashes"
“Five Nights at Freddy’s” was the choice of my beautiful son who’d eagerly booked the tickets many weeks ago, and whilst this horror and platform genre swap from the gaming world to the cinema screen was a worthy addition to the canon of films from the Blumhouse production line, I was rather hoping I’d return to an England fighting for their cricketing lives and defending a total of perhaps 220 after Mark Wood had yet again bailed out his batsmen with a lusty half century full of boundary clearing 6’s.
Alas I returned to the grave news that England had already been defeated, some 45 minutes before I even returned from the cinema, and only Test captain Ben Stokes provided any resistance whatsoever with 43 as England limped to an embarrassing 156 all out. David Willey snagged 2 early Sri Lankan wickets and at 23–2 it was arguably a contest, but 77 not out from Pathum Nissanka and a less than a run-a-ball 65 from Sadeera Samarawickrama consigned England to their fourth defeat in five games, and with 25 overs still to be bowled.
25 overs!
Five Nights at Freddy’s?
How about five games, four defeats, three heavy embarrassing ones too, and only the rank outsiders Netherlands preventing England from tenth place out of ten in a World Cup table that makes for incredibly embarrassing reading for all concerned. The horror show will almost certainly continue on Sunday with a heavy defeat from the seemingly unbeatable India, and this will mathematically end any hopes of a recovery even Lazarus would proclaim to be absurd.
Since we were last together, and avoiding comment on the wider world this time as I’m as sick and frustrated at the tired old screenplay being played out on our collective telescreens as you are, Sri Lanka gained their first win of the tournament with a 5 wicket win over the Netherlands and today’s 8 wicket demolition of England sees them climb the table into 5th place behind a resurgent Australia who thumped the same Netherlands team by an astonishing 309 runs. This game was a joy to watch as my favourite Australian fighting alley cat David Warner used a couple of his feline lives on his way to a blistering half century from just 40 balls received before leaping for joy on the achieving of his century from just 91 balls received. Then it became the Glenn Maxwell show! The beneficiary of an extra cricketing “life” when on 26, the 35 year old from Kew played the most outrageous of reverse sweeps and scoops on his way to 50 from just 27 balls before smashing the next 13 balls to all parts of Delhi on his way to a record breaking and otherworldly century from just 40 balls received. It was an innings for the ages and an innings of pure sporting wonder.
India were pushed all the way in the battle of the unbeaten teams by New Zealand before triumphing by 4 wickets, Bangladesh made South Africa work above and beyond the call of cricketing duty for their 149 run triumph, but leaving the best for the very last, step forward Afghanistan.
Set 283 to win by a Pakistan team who were their usual contradiction of spectacular then incredibly ragged, the record books will show an 8 wicket victory for the minnows and heavy underdog Afghanistan, but the longer story is even more impressive than that. Whilst Ibrahim Zadran played somewhat of an “anchor” role with 87 runs from 113 balls received, his opening batting partner Rahmanullah Gurbaz once again demonstrated the excitement circling around this 21 year old with a brilliant half century from just 35 balls and eventual 65 from 53 total balls received. At their combined demise and the score 190–2, Afghanistan needed 93 runs from 99 balls remaining. Step forward Rahmat Shah (77 not out) and captain Hashmatullah Shahidi who not only bludgeoned 48 not out from 45 balls received, but also led his side and nation to a famous, thoroughly deserved, and comprehensive win for the ages and another huge shock at this World Cup. An 8 wicket victory sounds and looks impressive enough, but this was far, far more than that.
Neither Afghanistan nor Bangladesh will qualify for the top 4 Semi-Final spots but I’m cheering them on from afar, and England will soon be home to experience the beginnings of a cold Winter ahead amid recriminations and rancour, and the beginning of a fresh new page in England one-day cricket going forward.
See you on Sunday.
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