England bat the Kiwis into an impossible mission as a storm rages in Adelaide
Day Two: New Zealand v England, Basin Reserve
ENGLAND 280 and 378–5 (lead by 533 runs)
NEW ZEALAND 125
As Storm Darragh continues to lash Shakespeare’s Sceptred Isle with untold damage and even the postponement of today’s Merseyside Derby between Everton and Liverpool (and no doubt many more sporting postponements to follow in its wintry wake of destruction), a very different storm was bubbling to the surface a world away under the floodlights of the Adelaide Oval as a wounded Australia wreak revenge on their Indian visitors in the 2nd Test Match. Across the Tasman Sea we find a rather more sedate picture of sporting contest unless that is, you’re a New Zealand Kiwi. From the haunting darkness and rainstorms of Wellington in central England, the Basin Reserve of Wellington, New Zealand was a picture of sunshine serenity and a full and expectant crowd everywhere you looked on the grassy banks surrounding this magnificent cricket ground. There wasn’t a storm to be seen, nor the threat of a raindrop let alone a gale force squall and the floodlights illuminating the bruhaha developing between their noisy neighbours Australia and their visitors from India were only needed in the cosmopolitan capital of South Australia. But after yet another remarkable day of Test Match cricket either side of the Tasman Sea, Australia are thirsty for revenge and England have batted their near neighbours into an impossible mission far beyond the reach of even Tom Cruise.
The grand old game of cricket and statistical milestones and oddities go together like eggs and bacon, mistletoe and wine and the sunshine we all seek after the rain. Starting Day 2 trailing by 194 runs on 1st innings, New Zealand chalked off just 39 runs from this overnight deficit in 40 blistering minutes of attacking boundary 4’s, two more wickets for the ever impressive England fast bowler Brydon Carse and then, that oh so pleasing rarity of a hat-trick from fellow fast bowler Gus Atkinson. I’ve watched Test Match cricket live and through the night for over four decades and can only remember seeing one such hat-trick live, Darren Gough’s late evening heroics in the sunshine of the Sydney Cricket Ground in 1999 and on a cold and frosty morning here in England whereby I promptly called work, said I was sick, and went to bed!
What?
England were on the verge of a rare Test Match win on Australian soil and I needed some sleep before battle recommenced in Sydney later that day. Or was it the following day? Tomorrow? Today? Tonight? A quarter of a century ago? Watching cricket through the night and from the other side of the world as a storm rages outside tends to discombobulate the best of us.
Anyway, where were we?
Oh yes, Gus Atkinson and his marvellous hat-trick. First up was the pugnacious Nathan Smith who tried to leave a wide delivery only to see Atkinson’s delivery jagging off the wicket, snagging the inside edge of his bat and crashing into his middle stump. Next in the firing line was Matt Henry who received a bouncing, lifting delivery or, in the vernacular of this great game, a “snorter” he could only fend off in defence and into the gleeful hands of Ben Duckett at Gully and then, the coup de grâce as Atkinson trapped Tim Southee “plumb” and “dead” in front of his stumps for the most obvious LBW (Leg Before Wicket) in the history of the game, only for him to refer the umpire’s decision for a TV replay! As Atkinson wheeled away in sheer delight before being mobbed by his joyful teammates, even Southee’s teammate Glenn Phillips at the other end began walking off the field, so obvious was his dismissal, and in under 40 minutes England, and Brydon Carse and hat-trick hero Gus Atkinson in particular, had wrapped up the New Zealand innings for a limp 125 all out.
We seem to have tangentially tripped our way away from those pleasing statistical oddities and milestones so resplendent in this grandest of all games but from hereon in, they really come into their own. So New Zealand started the day 194 runs adrift on 1st innings and in 40 minutes of play had reduced this deficit to 155 but, they were now all out. England, in their revolutionary way, then crashed 82 quick runs in the remaining 70 minutes or so of the first session of play (Ben Duckett 39 not out and Jacob Bethell 34 not out) to end a remarkable first two hours of cricket now leading by 237 runs on 1st innings and with the added advantage of both knocking over New Zealand so early in the day and now, 43 more runs in credit on 1st innings and with 9 2nd innings wickets still in hand.
From here and for the rest of the day are a cavalcade of individual and team milestones that whether you were a resident TVNZ commentator, Scotty Stevenson, David Gower or Craig McMillan in particular, the sell out “Fancy Dress Saturday” crowd or even a mad dog Englishman watching cricket through the night again, shaking our collective heads in astonished disbelief or pure sporting admiration. Individually, 21 year old Jacob Bethell scored his second consecutive Test Match 50 at almost a run-a-ball before agonizingly falling just 4 runs short of a maiden Test Match century. Ben Duckett reached his 13th Test Match 50 before he too fell just 8 runs short of another impressive century before the ever dependable Yorkshire pairing of Harry Brook and Joe Root each raced to their own individual Test Match half century milestones and when Brook departed for an almost run-a-ball 55? Well his skipper Ben Stokes joined in the fun with a quick fire 35 not out from just 26 balls received as Joe Root serenely accumulated yet more runs to end the day’s play 73 not out and England, a gargantuan lead of 533 runs.
To put this lead into some kind of perspective firstly, we’re only at the end of day 2 of a 5 day Test Match! But this, quixotically and rather ridiculously, would still be getting ahead of ourselves. For we have to acknowledge that mid-way through the afternoon session, and, lest we forget, only on day 2 and with Ben Duckett and Jacob Bethell crashing the ball to all parts of Wellington, New Zealand already needed a history making highest ever score on this ground to win this Test Match, eclipsing Pakistan’s record in 2003. Furthermore, and an hour or so later, they now needed to beat the 1969 record for a run chase in New Zealand set by the West Indies, and England still had 9 wickets in hand with which to increase this impossible mission still further. Which they did, rampaging past the highest ever 4th innings winning score in the entirety of Test Match history of 418 by the West Indies against Australia in 2003 to finish the day a further 115 runs in advance of even this and a quite staggering lead, and current run chase for New Zealand, of 533 runs.
But this is still not all, as tomorrow morning, Joe Root will resume on 73 not out and 27 runs short of his 36th all time Test Match century and although he won’t accomplish the next otherworldly feat tomorrow, he’ll be just 500 runs short of overtaking Rahul Dravid, Jacques Kallis AND Ricky Ponting to become the second highest ever run scorer in the entire history of this storied game. Then we have Kiwi born Ben Stokes who at 35 not out overnight will surely be targeting a half century of his own as well as watching his great friend reach his own individual milestone and by the Lunch Break or perhaps early afternoon at the latest, setting New Zealand an impossible mission of 650+ runs for victory.
All rather ridiculous even for this revolutionary England team and remember, we are still only at the end of day 2!
Across the Tasman Sea and a few hours later under the floodlights of the Adelaide Oval we also find the 2nd Test Match between Australia and India at the end of their second day and where a storm of revenge was brewing, it truly ripped open between the bad mouthed exchanges between Aussie batsmen Travis Head and Indian fast bowler Mohammed Siraj. Within the vernacular of this great game once more, Siraj gave the combative and brilliantly explosive Aussie middle order batsman a “send off” and not so pleasantly wishing him on his way after finally bowling him out after the 30 year old Adelaide local had smashed a run-a-ball (run-a-ball!) 140. Being neither a lip reading expert nor conversant or fluent in Hindi, I’d hazard a guess that Siraj’s angry send off was matched by Head’s “fuck off”, but as I say this is both a guess, from an ignorance of a language foreign to me and clearly in keeping with the frustration of a visiting team dragging themselves back into contention in this Test Match only for the “kid from Tee Tree Gully” and local South Australian to, in the glorious words of Kerry “Skull” O’Keeffe once more, “turn this Test Match on its head”. Overnight not out batsmen Nathan McSweeney (39) and Marnus Labuschagne (64) were the only Australian batsmen to make significant scores other than Travis Head in their final all out total of 337, giving them a 1st innings lead of 157 of which 29 runs still remain to their credit after Aussie captain Pat Cummins snagged two wickets and the “Magic Man” Scott Boland got in the act once more with two wickets of his own and the priceless scalps of Yashasvi Jaiswal and Virat Kohli.
I only watched the final 45 minutes or so live (even this mad dog Englishman needs some sleep occasionally) but I awoke to the glorious sight of Mitchell Starc smashing Shubman Gill’s middle stump before mere minutes later a fired up Australian captain Pat Cummins bowling his opposite number Rohit Sharma with a beauty that jagged from the wicket and into his off stump. At 128–5, India still trail their hosts by 29 runs and with only 5 wickets in hand, Australia are truly on course to both level the series and avenge the ignominy of their crushing defeat by 295 runs in Perth two weeks ago.
So New Zealand have an impossible mission and arguably India are heading that way too. Conceivably, both Test Matches could be concluded by this time tomorrow and those bitterest of auld enemies England and Australia celebrating thumping wins.
From a still storm ravaged Wellington in central England to the sunshine of another Wellington and the floodlights of Adelaide, I bid you farewell in childish excitement for the resumption of play later tonight.
Or is it tomorrow morning?
Thanks for reading. After watching England “through the night” I’ve turned these day by day ramblings into three self-published books to date, the first of which pictured below covers (in the fifth and final part) England’s last tour to New Zealand in early 2023:
"Ashes to Ashes" - link to Amazon
Thanks for reading. I hope this message in a bottle in The Matrix finds you well, prospering, and the right way up in an upside down world.