Friday musings from The Netherworld
A Matrix “Message in a Bottle”.
A Matrix “Message in a Bottle”.
“Why do we fall, Bruce?”
“So that we learn to pick ourselves up”
“Batman Begins” (2005), Directed by Christopher Nolan
Now regular readers will be expecting me to immediately disappear away on a tangent and ludicrously exclaim that I’m living in a Christopher Nolan movie, but that’s too lame even for me and anyway, it’s Friday, this is a message in a bottle, I actually live in a Coen Brothers movie of my own making and seemingly, I always have done. Take Thursday for instance. The supposed good guy of our tale rearranged his lounge for the cramped set of his faintly ridiculously titled new Youtube channel “The Blackford Book Club” and the plan was to read various chapters from his new book he’ll be shamelessly plugging later. Now reverting back to the first person, I managed to record ONE video almost perfectly and whilst I fretted about the time, the lack of light, my lack of professionalism and of course my not making my videos light, fluffy and natural, I wasted the rest of the day with takes that will never see the light of day.
Here’s one that did and is almost, almost, as perfect as I wanted it to be:
So yes, that’s me above, a half man, half biscuit sitting in front of a favourite Salvador Dali print of a painting I saw at The Tate Gallery in London in the mid 1990’s, my Radiohead books on prominent display. As you can see, no expense has been spent on my video “set” and a small bag of magic beans goes to the first person who can confirm why I’ve described myself as a half man/half biscuit without using The Matrix for the answer!
Two things continue to hit me like a hardback book to the head:
(1) Why haven’t I kept the bloopers and mistakes?
(2) Why am I unable to lucidly and clearly read the words to my own damn books?
The answer to question one is that there isn’t enough hard drive space this side of the dark side of the moon capable enough to hold my ever increasing multitude of bloopers and anyway, who wants to see a man undergoing his 126th mid-life crisis looking squarely at the camera with the eyes of a child on the brink of tears before swearing like a sailor?
Quixotically, the answer to that is probably more people than actually want to see that same half man, half biscuit read his book correctly!
But I’ll get through 2/3rds of a long chapter almost perfectly before I stumble and bumble and mis-pronounce a word or two or read the current paragraph out of sync, out of the intended written flow, and then flows a stream of language that would make an army drill sergeant blush.
Who knew reading aloud was so difficult?
Blimey.
So I’m back to it later tonight. I’m going for the inspiration only the witching hour brings and in the meantime, please allow me to proudly show off the hardback copy of my new self-published book and some promotional links.
Peace.
Thanks for reading. Two supplementary, complimentary and recently published articles are linked here together with a link to how you can support me should you wish:
https://www.patreon.com/TheBlackfordBookClub
Out Now! “The Spirit of Cricket”
Hot off the press! My 4th self published book.medium.com
“The Blackford Book Club” is live on Youtube!
It’s the only BBC you’re ever going to need!medium.com