“Giants" and "Metal Heads" and Ashes despair
America’s Pastime on the riverside in central England
“Ashes Summer Musings Vol.10 — Giants and Metal Heads and Ashes despair” represents chapter 30 of 43 of my second book on cricket (that isn’t really about cricket) and I’ve reproduced this below together with my Youtube channel reading of this chapter.
I hope you enjoy.
"Giants" and "Metal Heads" and Ashes despair - Youtube
"Giants" and "Metal Heads" and Ashes despair - original article
"The Spirit of Cricket" - available via Amazon
Sunday 16th July 2023
Hidden behind the broad smile of victory, there was more than a hint of seriousness as Australian captain Alyssa Healy suggested that her World Champion and now Ashes retaining team hadn’t “played our best cricket yet”. Best cricket or not, this afternoon’s 3 run victory at The Ageas Bowl in my home county of Hampshire has at least ensured her team retains a grip on the ladies Ashes, with a win at Taunton on Tuesday securing they win this incredibly tight series outright. Healy’s counterpart Heather Knight smiled through the pain of defeat whilst looking forward to one final showdown with the Aussies on Tuesday, and with the score now 8–6 in favour of an unbeatable, and now Ashes retaining Australian team, we have a host of sporting absurdities to look forward to. Far from being a “dead rubber”, if England win on Tuesday they will celebrate a mini-series victory in the ODI (One Day International) portion of this Ashes series but even if they do, Australia will hold the far larger party as even if The Ashes are shared, they still retain custody as holders of the urn. An Australian victory would see these dual celebrations quashed and perhaps Healy and her team have saved their very best cricket for the final game in the series?
Winning the toss and electing to bat first, Healy and her team posted a monstrous 282–7 from their 50 overs and although the captain only registered 13 runs herself, 5 of her teammates weighed in with crucial, unique and often spectacular batting displays all of their own. Both Beth Mooney (again) and all round Ashes superstar this Summer Ashleigh Gardner rapped 33 runs each before Annabel Sutherland clubbed 50 from just 47 balls on her way to a maiden half century in ODI’s for her country, with all of these top order innings supporting Ellyse Perry’s “backbone” innings of 91 from 124 balls. With 1 over remaining, Australia had seemingly already batted their way to an impressive and imposing total to chase before Georgia Wareham dispatched England’s Lauren Bell to all parts of Hampshire! The 24 year old spin bowler from Terang crashed Bell for 2 consecutive boundary 6’s before a boundary 4, a 6 again, another boundary 4 and a quickly run 2 before failing to score from the last ball of an over that had seen Wareham score 26, taking her personal score to 37 from just 14 (14!) balls received, and Australia to a seemingly unbeatable 282–7.
England set about their enormous run chase with the bright and breezy brio of Test Match double centurion Tammy Beaumont who brilliantly clubbed and caressed a run-a-ball 60. Her demise at 107–2 was a signifier of things to come as well as a piece of cricketing beauty. 27 year old Alana King is a disciple in the bowling arts of Shane Warne, and the great man would have LOVED the delivery that ended Beaumont’s bubbling innings. Pitching on middle, middle and leg stumps, her perfect “leggie” spun viciously past Beaumont’s defence for a real piece of cricketing beauty and no I won’t apologise for repeating myself, for it was THE perfect leg spin delivery, pitching in one direction, spinning and straightening many inches the other, the “death rattle” of bails leaving stumps sure to follow.
Oh the “King of Spin” would have LOVED that delivery!
King would grab 3 wickets, Gardner too and with Georgia Wareham taking the first wicket of the innings to fall, Australia rather spun their way to victory with all 7 English wickets falling to Australian spin bowlers, and all ultimately in a losing cause. Only 2 batters bucked this spinning trend with Sarah Glenn brilliantly supporting Nat Sciver-Brunt who scattered 10 boundary 4’s all around The Ageas Bowl on her way to a 53 ball half century, a 93 ball hundred and 111 not out from 99 balls received. Needing 15 from the final over, both Glenn and Sciver-Brunt scored 10 from the first 5 balls received thus needing a boundary 6 to win or a boundary 4 for a “Super Over”. A tamely hit single ensured Australia had won yet another tight and cliched ridden “Titanic struggle” by just 3 runs.
Whether Australia have played their best cricket or not they have retained The Ashes, and lead the series 8–6 entering Tuesday’s final ODI in Taunton. If England win, we could have the semi-farcical prospect of the hosts winning both series in the shorter forms of the game and ultimately winning 4 matches as opposed to the Australians 3. But with the visitors triumph in the Test Match counting double in the points system, and 2 points from their sole victories in the IT20 and ODI games, The Ashes will remain in Australian hands regardless of Tuesday’s outcome.
Whilst this cricketing hullabaloo was unfolding 175 odd miles away in my home county of Hampshire (and on the outskirts of a city my hometown friends can’t pronounce without a sneer of contempt!) I was watching my latest hometown team of “Giants” entertain some visiting “Metalheads” in the American pastime of baseball, and all within my spiritual home of Ironbridge on the banks of the River Severn. Being the baseball nut that I am (and proud LA Dodgers fan), I was delighted beyond measure when last Summer I stumbled upon the faintly ridiculous and utterly absurd notion of a game of baseball in England, and that my home team played a mere hop, skip and second base steal from picturesque Ironbridge. So bribed with the prospect of some afternoon fish and chips beside the iron bridge herself and within the bubbling atmosphere that only Ironbridge can provide, my son indulged me for an hour or so of high scoring baseball on the banks of a river in the very heart of central England.
With my son insisting on being chief photographer we retrieved errant baseballs from the surrounding trees or used them for temporary cover as yet another rain shower swept through a late July morning that was more reminiscent of a cold day in April. Sunshine and showers was the order of the day, as was the predicted victory for the visiting “Metalheads” from Birmingham who were far too strong for my home team of “Giants”. I had the very real pleasure of explaining the game, a real life game rather than the one I’ve explained via the medium of a television, to a son who rather enjoyed himself (just don’t tell him that!) as well as being magnanimous enough to say I was wrong and there was no way either team would hit a Home Run to the faraway boundaries. No way! Yet in the 3rd inning alone the visiting “Metalheads” crashed 3 multi-scoring “Homers” on their way to scoring 10 runs in the inning, a 12–3 lead entering the 4th inning, and the signal for our departure for a stroll along the River Severn and the delights of fish and chips beside the oldest iron bridge in the world.
From 12–3 in favour of Birmingham at the top of the 4th inning, the game ended 5 innings later with a comprehensive score line of 26–11 in favour of the “Metalheads” and with 37 runs being scored and a little piece of amateur sporting heaven on my doorstep, I’m returning for their home fixtures in August.
Fish, chips and baseball beside the river? As my old friend Hunter S Thompson would often cry
“And why not?”
Why not indeed.
Postscript
As at this evening, the rumour drums reverberate to the sounds surrounding the resumption of the men’s Ashes series on Wednesday and suggestions that Jimmy Anderson will be returning for England in place of the injury plagued Ollie Robinson. I hope this is the case, as I do that Chris Woakes and Mark Wood retain their respective places for a Test Match that England simply have to win to keep their Ashes hopes alive. Australia may have a selection pickle on their hands as I foresee Josh Hazlewood replacing Scott Boland and with Cameron Green returning from injury and Mitchell Marsh sure to play following his century with the bat and wickets with the ball at Headingley last week, the axe must surely fall on spinning prodigy Todd Murphy with Travis Head, Marnus Labuschagne or Steve Smith all able deputies in the spin department.
England have to win. Wednesday can’t come quickly enough, and I still believe this series ends 3–2. The heart says England. The head says otherwise! But the fly in the sporting ointment could be the dark black clouds forecasted to surround Old Trafford in Manchester from Wednesday through to Friday at least. Lengthy bad weather and a draw, the Australian men, as with their female counterparts, will have at least retained The Ashes. England, and my 3–2 prediction, could be foiled by the English weather.
If these weather interruptions arrive we could have the spectacle of intense, short, sharp sessions of cricket under heavy skies, dewy conditions and a sweating wicket apt to see cricket balls swinging and seaming all over the place. Wickets aplenty. Batting collapses under leaden skies. All the fun of the cricketing fair!
I’m off to perform a reverse rain dance.
See you Tuesday!
Thanks for reading. I hope this message in a bottle in The Matrix finds you well, prospering and the right way up in an upside down world.