Indiana Jones and a Quest for the Ashes
Ashes Day 6: Lords Cricket Ground, London.
Ashes Day 6: Lords Cricket Ground, London.
Wednesday 28th June 2023
“Stumps” Day 1: Australia 339–5
With the clock ticking a little past 9.30pm it’s been another wonderful day in the wide, weird world of real life on planet earth and, as we’ll get to soon enough, a worrying one for England cricket captain Ben Stokes. A world away from such sporting dilemmas, yesterday was a busy affair as I chased yet more stretches of the canal I hadn’t yet discovered as well as making a pertinent discovery of my own that loosely chimes with many of the stories of both yesterday and indeed today. For yesterday an independent commission into the health of the English game yet again, as they have on so many previous occasions, highlighted a culture within the sport of sexism, misogyny, racism, classism and elitism, a “mirror to society” as ex England captain Nasser Hussain so rightly pointed out in this morning’s build up to the toss, the anthems and the first session of this 2nd Ashes Test Match at the “Home of Cricket”. I’m not sexist, a racist, a misogynist or any of the other scathing labels attributed to English cricket and I doubt you fall into any of these categories either. I find these independently commissioned reports to be tiresome but Nasser Hussain hit the ugly nail square on the head this morning with his mirror to society comment and the even uglier truth is this established society isn’t for changing, is purposely set up in such a way as to divide and rule us all, and cricket isn’t to blame and is but a cracked mirror to a crumbling societal edifice that bolsters an elite or strata of society that accepts a privatised stretch of canal out of bounds for the likes of you and me yesterday. You can have all the independent commissions you wish and they will continually report back on the ugly cracks of sexism, homophobia, misogyny and many more societal ills, for that is where they are rooted, but cricket has always been that mirror to a society rigid in its conformism to wealth, privilege, class and elitism and this will never change until it begins to reflect back a real change from within and from within the elite schools and universities that were so heavily criticised for their domination of the “pathways” to professional cricket.
Although yesterday should have been a cricket free zone and a day or so after the Australian ladies team won their crucial opening battle with their English hosts and still a day away from the men’s teams resuming sporting hostilities today, the grand old game was on my mind. I hoped England would pick a favourite player of mine, Mark Wood, to bolster their fast bowling attacking options and I also hoped Australian Scott Boland would retain his place in the visiting team as I can only admire the way he plays the game late in a career that is blossoming on the biggest cricketing stage of all. My local travels yesterday were also sound tracked by an English/British institution that has been a constant companion throughout my life for four decades or more now, a radio programme turned podcast entitled “Test Match Special” (or TMS for short) and with a Summer of cricket underway they’re running a series of shows on past Ashes battles called “The Ashes Hour” as they repeat in full their beloved commentary of the final hour of play in recent contests here in England.
I listened to three yesterday, the first of which was England’s last gasp win by 15 runs at Trent Bridge in 2013 that I’d never heard before in full, but the other two hour long episodes were gems and days I remember sat glued to the quintessentially and eccentric radio commentary from years gone by enraptured by the live description of cricket history in real world time. “The Miracle of Headingley” in 2019 and Ben Stokes incredible innings as his last batting partner Jack Leach nervously wiped the mist from his glasses as he watched unbelievably from the other end was first, and a day I remember fondly despite working throughout that Summer’s Ashes. I had a small taxi business at the time and so despite not watching the cricket it was manna from heaven to have TMS for company all Summer long. That day ended with me sitting nervously in a lay-by as all thoughts of work were forgotten and I simply upped sticks for an hour and just listened to a miracle unfolding in Yorkshire. Other times during that Summer were spent dashing into pubs or hotels to watch a snippet of the action as I waited for my next customer or listening to every ball bowled as I extolled the virtues of the great game to yet another customer on yet another sun filled Summer’s afternoon.
The third and final episode concerned the “Great Escape” in Cardiff a decade before as whilst I was driving once more, this time transporting my family for a holiday in Wales and just a handful of miles from Cardiff itself, Jimmy Anderson and Monty Panesar were frustrating the Aussies into a historic final day draw that kept the 2009 Ashes alive. We arrived at our holiday cottage (after I’d subjected my family to TMS for four long hours on our way to Wales) with England approaching that “Ashes Hour” still needing their last two batsmen (a fast bowler and a cult hero spin bowler in truth) to bat out that final hour, and a final hour I spent either listening to the radio as I soaked in the bath (it had been a long journey!) or pacing up and down the balcony hoping and praying Jimmy and Monty pulled off the virtually impossible.
Whilst memories are made of days such as these I still haven’t scratched the surface of today’s events on the field of play at Lords and neither have I even begun to describe watching Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill Vol.1 over breakfast bacon sandwiches with my son or indeed ending the day, and at his insistence, by watching the second revenge filled volume in Tarantino’s masterpiece with him too. I am also remiss in my own excitement to have omitted in describing my son jumping out of his shoes in anticipation of the new Indiana Jones film released today in England and whilst I joined my favourite two people in all the world at the cinema as Harrison Ford defeated the Nazi’s once more and travelled back in time to meet Archimedes, England were being put to the sword in “typical English conditions” by a rampant Australia.
But that’s getting ahead of ourselves.
As perfectly described by ex Australian captain and Test Match legend Ricky “Punter” Ponting, this morning as Lords was indeed typically English Summer conditions with dark foreboding overhead clouds threatening rain amid the muggy, swing inducing confines of the home of cricket with a “green top” of a wicket that looked treacherously difficult to bat on. In cricketing parlance it was a “good toss to win”, a great one even, and with Aussie skipper Pat Cummins calling incorrectly, England captain Ben Stokes elected to field and bowl on a wicket with surrounding conditions absolutely perfect for his team of swing and seam bowlers.
The general end of day consensus stated today being a “missed opportunity” for the hosts but that’s getting ahead of ourselves again. Jimmy Anderson and Stuart Broad bowled a tight and probing line before a morning rain shower curtailed play for a few minutes with Australia easing to 20–0. Usman Khawaja, centurion from the 1st Test at Edgbaston, received a “life” when on just 1 run with Joe Root dropping a very difficult chance at 1st Slip from the bowling of Stuart Broad and shortly after the rain break his opening batting partner David Warner would receive one too, and at a far greater ultimate cost to England. Warner, that pugnacious street fighter and cricketing alley cat had dominated the runs scoring for his team in the early going and when on 20 and the team total only 28, he flashed a quick chance to Ollie Pope at a wide 4th Slip who grassed a catch he’d ordinarily snaffle 99 times out of a hundred. We left for the cinema to aid Indiana Jones and his quest to save the world with Australia, batting on a very un-friendly wicket and under both the early afternoon floodlights and a darkened sky, at an untroubled and easy 62–0 and the portents did not look good outside of the cosy confines of the darkness of the cinema and a hero riding to save the day once more.
We returned to the perturbing news that Australia had increased their 1st innings total in our cinematic absence from 62–0 to 221–3 and ominously, Aussie vice-captain Steve Smith already had 40+ runs to his name and together with the last Ashes hero and “Player of the Series”, Travis Head, looked solid and set for further runs before the close of play. In our absence, Josh Tongue, replacement for the injured Moeen Ali but really a replacement for the quicker alternative in the fast bowling of Mark Wood, had removed both Australian openers and both by the method of clean bowling them and dismantling their respective cricketing “Castle’s”. Khawaja notched a further 16 slow runs in addition to the life he was gifted by the Root dropped catch when on 1 before he “shouldered arms” and didn’t play a shot to a wicked delivery from Tongue that darted inward from the wicket before crashing into his stumps just prior to the Lunch Break before the 25 year old from Reditch in Worcestershire pulled off a similar trick in dismissing David Warner for 66 just after the resumption in play. The alley cat from Paddington near Sydney had crashed his way to another 46 runs after Pope’s costly dropped catch earlier and with the opening batsmen now both dismissed, Australia had weathered the worst of the batting conditions to find themselves at a healthy 96–2. The chuntering, chuckling brothers of Steve Smith and Marnus Labuschagne then produced a stunning century partnership before Labuschagne “nicked off” to Jonny Bairstow behind the stumps from the bowling of a delighted Ollie Robinson, and on a day when every wicket was greeted with a universal sigh of “England needed that wicket”, this partnership breaker was vital and as the Tea Break loomed, Australia had reached a very creditable 198–3.
The day’s final session ebbed and flowed with the natural rhythm of the grandest of all games as one team had the ascendancy and seemed to score at will before their opposition struck back with wickets from a “Golden Arm” and living, playing legend of the game. Whilst Steve Smith glided to his half century without a care in the world, Travis Head bludgeoned his way to 50 from 48 balls and ultimately 77 from 73 balls before a brilliantly spinning and wider delivery from the part-time bowling of Joe Root bamboozled his attacking intent, leading to a sharp stumping from Jonny Bairstow. Three balls later, Root’s golden arm struck once more, but it was more down to the poor shot employed by Cameron Green rather than a viciously spinning delivery this time, but Australia were now 316–5 and although ahead of the game, at least England finally had some kind of foot-hold in the contest.
Minutes later stumps were drawn to end a fascinating day’s Test Match cricket with Australia ending Day 1 on 339–5 and ominously once more, Steve Smith ended the day unbeaten and not out on 85, and a day belonging entirely to the team he is the proud vice-captain of. A day of missed opportunities and dropped catches for England and all after their captain Ben Stokes had the luxury of winning the toss on a green seaming wicket and perfect surrounding weather conditions for his fast bowling unit.
Australia’s day by a mile, and the warning signs are writ large for an England team and a bowling attack I struggle to see bowling out their visitors twice before they’ve racked up huge runs in both innings.
Huge morning and first session up coming in the morning. Just as us crazy Test Match cricket fans like it!
It’s now past midnight and less than 11 hours before that beautifully enticing first session begins and I can’t help but worry that England have missed a huge trick today. With the overhead conditions and a bowler friendly wicket, daydreams were had at the toss of Broad and Anderson rolling through Australia in a session and a half and England batting by the end of the day. To take just 5 wickets and concede the thick end of 350 runs into the process is a demoralising day in the course of this England revolution and I hope I’m wildly wrong with my assertion that they’ll struggle to bowl out this incredible team twice within a winning distance of a run chase in the 4th innings.
Time will tell.
It always does.
For time told today of films and the cinema, bacon sandwiches and the excitement of a 50 something teenager going to the cinema with his two favourite people in all the world.
Golden memories made once more.
See you tomorrow!
Thanks for reading. I’m writing a daily diary throughout this Ashes Summer of cricket and here are days 1, 3 and 5 from the 1st Test Match at Edgbaston last week:
Root century but it’s honours even after Day 1 at Edgbaston
Ashes Day 1: Edgbaston, Birmingham.medium.com
Aussies on top as the storm clouds gather in Birmingham
Ashes Day 3: Edgbaston, Birmingham.medium.com
Who says cricket is boring? Aussies win a thriller!
Ashes Day 5: Edgbaston, Birmingham.medium.com