Let me tell you the story of a poor boy

Who was sent far away from his home

Issue 302 of the independently run and produced Liverpool Football Club fanzine “Red All Over The Land” and my pride and joy and the book on Liverpool FC I’d always wanted to write (Author’s Collection)

For those unfamiliar with the song “Red River Valley”, please treat yourself to the 4 minutes of nostalgia you’ll find at the end of this brief opening paragraph. One of my Mum’s favourite songs and although she preferred the Marty Robbins original from the earliest reaches of the 1960’s, she would have ADORED the Stevie Nicks and Chris Isaak version linked immediately below:

"Red River Valley" (Cover Version by Stevie Nicks and Chris Isaak)

The tune of “Red River Valley” forms the basis of one of Liverpool Football Club’s oldest anthems entitled “Poor Scouser Tommy” and whereas in the original song you have a cowboy leaving his valley home you now have a poor Liverpudlian “Scouser” sent away from his home to fight for King and Country “and also the old folks back home”. Then the Blues of Everton and the Reds of Liverpool met in a local derby in 1982 that no-one present that day will ever forget, a skinny Welshman by the name of Ian Rush scored 4 and soon enough the song-smiths on Liverpool’s famed terrace “The Kop” added a final verse to a long cherished song, a song my dear old Mum adored too, with the refrain of:

“One two, one two three, one two three four, five nil
Rush scored one
Rush scored two
Rush scored three
And Rush scored four”

before ending with a tribute to The Beatles and

“All you need is Rush
All you need is Rush
All you need is Rush
Rush, Rush is all you need”

Why this elongated introduction via a song from the 1960's?

Because one fine day in 1990 my Manchester United supporting Mum was sitting in the kitchen watching the exact same game I was watching whilst sat nervously in the lounge next door: that season’s clash of the north west footballing titans of Liverpool and Manchester United at Old Trafford. Naturally I was singing boisterous songs of praise for my Mighty Reds of Liverpool when, just prior to kick off, I commenced with the opening bars of “Poor Scouser Tommy” when my dear old Manchester United supporting Mum rushed into the lounge to exclaim:

“That’s not Tommy! That’s Red River Valley!”

And three decades later I bundled this small fragment of a true, smile inducing memory into an article that I submitted for the current edition of the Liverpool FC fanzine “Red All Over The Land” and voila, I made the cut again.

Here are the important particulars:

My original article.

The article now transformed and onto the published and printed page.

A Youtube video of me reading my original article direct to camera.

Everton 0 Liverpool 5 - 6th November, 1982

(Author’s Collection)

My Youtube Channel reading of my article

"Chasing the Impossible and a Sword of Damocles" - Available via Amazon

My Pride and Joy (Author’s Collection)

So now dearest reader you have the rather splendid choice of either:

Reading the article that has spawned my honoured appearance in a supporters fanzine (written by the fans, for the fans) and a fanzine I used to collect and treasure growing up, and a long tale of not just football but of my growing up a Liverpool Red rather than my Mum’s Manchester United “Red Devils” with of course my dear old Mum the star of my literary stroll along memory lane. Or perhaps you wish to watch me read my own article direct to camera, singing “Poor Scouser Tommy” along the way, before dissolving into floods of tears at the memory of my Mum darting into the lounge 3 decades ago with her chiding me and

“That’s not Tommy! That’s Red River Valley!”

Or perhaps you’ll be convinced to take a chance on the book promoted above and my 530+ pages of adoration, present and past, on the footballing fortunes of the Mighty Reds of Liverpool.

You may of course decide to do none of these things and merely scamper your way through to your next destination in our digital Matrix and as and when you do, I wish you well.

If you do watch the video I hope you giggle in the right places and perhaps have some tissues ready at the end?

I miss talking football with my dear old Mum, what can I say?

For my Mum.

For Maureen.

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