Root and Bairstow bat Australia into a no lose situation
Ashes Day 22: The Oval, London.
Ashes Day 22: The Oval, London.
Saturday 29th July 2023
England 283 all out and 389–9
Australia 295 all out (trail by 377 runs)
It may have been yesterday but equally it could have been the day before, but a sage old fanatic of Test Match cricket and your favourite cricket correspondent posited the notion that there are big runs to be had on this Oval wicket in the south of old London town and today, Zak Crawley, Joe Root and Jonny Bairstow in particular proved me correct once more. But we don’t have time today for such self regarding nonsense as Stuart Broad has announced his retirement from the game he has graced for so many years alongside his great mate and birthday boy James Anderson, who will be 41 cricketing years young tomorrow. The sporting stories just write themselves sometimes don’t they?
Another sporting story could be that England, via the graceful and upright attacking batting style of Zak Crawley, an ex captain in Joe Root who is ageing akin to the finest of wines and Jonny Bairstow a “Gorilla released from his cage” according to Mark Butcher on TV commentary duties, this brilliantly buccaneering England team have batted all day and rather marvellously, batted Australia into a no lose situation. Sure they’ve given their bowling unit almost the entire day to rest and be fresh for a full on assault for victory on Sunday and possibly tiptoeing into a final day on Monday. But with perverse logic applied, England have also batted Australia into an incredibly exciting no lose position. With Ben Stokes highly unlikely to declare his team’s 2nd innings overnight if, for no other reason, ensuring his soon to be retired legendary bowler and 41 year old birthday boy rev up an already likely to be loud Sunday morning Oval crowd (as well as bloody frustrating the Australians to continue to field!) when the time comes for the visitors to chase down their target it will be 377 runs (or marginally higher) and a total not scored in a winning run chase at this storied venue in far too many sporting fairy tales.
But the no lose situation is simple: Australia lose, as expected by history alone, and the series is 2–2 BUT they’ve retained The Ashes anyway. Here’s the perverse logic:
Let’s say birthday boy Jimmy Anderson and the soon to be retired Stuart Broad club and edge 23 more runs in the morning to set Australia a perfectly formed 400 to win. The Oval crowd is bubbling over with excitement, roaring off their batting heroes before ten minutes later they re-emerge with a brand new ball in their hand, a trumpeter wishing Anderson a “Happy Birthday” before announcing to everyone in the ground that Broad is “big” and “bad” and rather more accomplished than his Dad! Australia are 0–0 and Stuart Broad is whirling his arm aloft urging on the crowd to get behind him as he pounds into bowl. I’d like to picture at this moment Broad’s delivery kissing the top of the wicket before darting through the forward defence of Usman Khawaja and his off stump cartwheeling behind him. That sure would be box office!
But Australia still have the best part of two full days of Test Match cricket in which to chase 377+ runs. 190 runs in two straight days. History would suggest this to be nigh on impossible. But this is a team of World Test Champions, and so many of these fantastic cricketers have one final chance of proving themselves so.
Take Usman Khawaja for example. If he doesn’t perish first ball to Stuart Broad and have to trudge back past the splintered remains of his cricketing “castle”, he rather enjoys batting. For a long time! The 36 year old will never be returning to England for an Ashes series and nor will his fighting alley cat of an opening batting partner David Warner. These childhood friends are likely to retire in the coming Australian Summer and whilst Marnus Labuschagne has at least one more Ashes return in him his fellow chirping chuckle brother Steve Smith doesn’t. The 34 year old number one batsman in the world has never won an Ashes series in England and that accounts for the soon to be retired Khawaja and Warner too and in fact every member of this Australian team of Champions. Two decades and more have passed since Steve Waugh captained a series winning Australian team in England so tomorrow and Monday presents a final chance for their talismanic captain Pat Cummins to make serious history alongside veterans Josh Hazlewood and Mitchell Starc, both of whom would be doubtful of a return in 4 years time. Alex Carey has been magnificent despite the silly bruhaha surrounding his stumping of Bairstow and should Mitchell Marsh scorch another century alongside the free-wheeling (or should be) David Warner, then we have the “Man of the Series” in the last Ashes series Travis Head to score a huge portion of the remaining runs to win a quite incredible game of Test Match cricket.
The sporting stories just write themselves sometimes, don’t they?
“Ashes to Ashes”
Out Now! Hot off the Press!medium.com
Zak Crawley deserved a cricketing “ton” today if for no other reason than I damn well enjoy watching him bat. Joe Root too if only for his continual “Oh No!” commentary caught on the stump mikes when he was occasionally troubled and had to fend off a bouncer from Pat Cummins. And Jonny Bairstow for Mark Butcher’s gorilla comparison before later being usurped by fellow TV commentator Ian Ward who confirmed the Australians have bestowed the moniker “wizard” upon their bespectacled spin bowler Todd Murphy who, according to Ward, reminded him of a character from the 1960’s show M*A*S*H and, presumably to cater for a more 21st Century audience, Harry Potter.
Wizards, spells, and sporting stories to tell, England levelled the playing field on day 2 before dotting it today with boundary 4’s and 6’s galore as they galloped their way to a thumping, and history suggesting, unbeatable lead of 377 runs.
I bitterly termed this Ashes series over when Australia retained the urn in the pouring rain of Manchester. But the sporting romantic in me sees a Test Match far from over, and a final Ashes story yet to be told.
Time will tell.
It always does.
Thanks for reading. For more romantic sporting flights of stupendous fantasy, please see my recaps from days 1 and 2 of this fifth and final Ashes Test Match:
Aussies take charge after Day 1 at The Oval
Ashes Day 20: The Oval, London.medium.com
Honours even after Day 2 at The Oval
Ashes Day 21: The Oval, London.medium.com