Tea and Biscuits at The Ashes
Bellerive Oval, Hobart, Day 3: Another ignominious England batting collapse. Another thumping by a rampant Australia.
Bellerive Oval, Hobart, Day 3: Another ignominious England batting collapse. Another thumping by a rampant Australia.
Before we delve into the nitty gritty of the day’s play, can I direct you to (1) the reason why I’m sitting up through the night watching Test Match cricket and (2) my blogs from the first two days of this final Ashes Test Match:
A cricketing journey
Why I’m going to Australia at 2am this winter for lunch and why cricket memories never fail to make me smile.medium.com
Tea and Biscuits at The Ashes
Bellerive Oval, Hobart, Day 1: Rain tops and tails a day that Travis Head will never forget.medium.com
Tea and Biscuits at The Ashes
Bellerive Oval, Hobart Day 2: England toil against the odds but do they have the firepower to run through Australia and…medium.com
FIRST SESSION: Australia 141–8 (Lead by 256 runs).
As I write these cricketing communiques in real time it is currently 6.11am, the players are on their appointed Lunch break and I’m feeling a tad dizzy and not because it’s 6.11am on a cold and frosty UK morning. I have an end of term feeling about today and that today indeed will be the last day of this Ashes series and a quite stupendous one too as we have long two sessions ahead of us and very soon a fired up set of Aussie bowlers will have a new pink cherry in their hands and under both low covering cloud and with the floodlights already on, quite simply the most perfect set of bowling conditions you could wish for. I’ve loved watching this morning’s first session, really genuinely loved it and both the match itself and the entire series must surely finish today. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves, and Australia are still batting yet.
Here’s how I ended yesterday’s communique:
This is just the end of day 2 but we are already well into the final third of this Test Match and tomorrow’s first session is, as it always seems to be in cricket, absolutely crucial. By the time lunch is taken after the first 2 and a half hours of play either England are bowling their way into a difficult run chase or Australia are batting them into an impossible one.
Time, as it always does, will tell.
I also stated yesterday that for a depleted England bowling attack to bowl their way into a competitive position, Stuart Broad would have to get a bagful of wickets and quickly, otherwise Australia will simply have too many runs with which to attackingly defend. England have indeed bowled their way into a difficult run chase and with Australia already enjoying a 256 run lead (with 2 wickets remaining) it already looks to be a nailed on impossible run chase too. But for Stuart Broad, read Mark Wood.
3.45am SCOTT BOLAND caught Billings bowled Wood (8).
15 minutes into the day’s play and Wood delivers a beautifully lifting delivery that Boland can only fend off in defence, edging a simple catch to Billings behind the stumps. Boland, as ever, has done his job as night watchman protecting the batsmen to come behind him and Wood, as ever, has deserved his wicket. Australia have added 10 runs to their overnight total and are 47–4.
4.05am TRAVIS HEAD caught Billings bowled Wood (8).
The returning centurion from the 1st innings is, in the cricketing vernacular, “strangled” down the leg side with the tiniest of glances from his gloves. Being caught in this way is always rather ugly looking but Wood is steaming in with real pace and bowling deliberately for such wickets or rather such mis-judged shots. It was effectively at times a return to the “Bodyline” Series of 1933–34 and if you knew me as well as some of my oldest friends you’d know how much this pleases me! Australia are 59–5 and England are bowling their way into a real competitive game.
4.16am STEVE SMITH caught Malan bowled Wood (27).
11 minutes later and with just a further 4 runs added to the Aussies total the prized scalp of Steve Smith is snagged. Wood’s 4th wicket of the innings is pure leg theory (Bodyline) bowling and Smith couldn’t resist aggressively hooking the short pitched bowling but hooked directly into the safe hands of Dawid Malan on the boundary. Australia are now 63–6 and teetering on a collapse and England are really in the game now.
4.46am Drinks Break Australia 90–6. Alex Carey (18) and Cameron Green (9) have steadied the Australian ship with a 27 run partnership and after 90 minutes of intense play it fell to Carey to really release the pressure valve with 3 boundary 4’s, but these glorious shots had taken nearly the entire day’s play hence far. England, and Mark Wood in particular, have bowled brilliantly in this first mini session of the day.
4.54am and Alex Carey receives a cricketing “life” as he’s clean bowled by Chris Woakes but the Englishman oversteps and bowls a no ball. So symptomatic of the Ashes tour as England yet again take a vital wicket but fail with the very basics of cricket by bowling a no ball. Australia are under pressure, have added just 1 run since the resumption of play and Carey has 19 runs to his name and another life to play with.
5.26am CAMERON GREEN lbw bowled Broad (23).
Green added 49 runs in a partnership with Alex Carey before receiving a brilliant delivery from Broad that crashed into his pads, trapping him “plumb” in front and conclusively out. His now ex partner Carey has added a further 3 runs to his added life and is 22 not out and Australia have a healthy lead but are reeling at 112–7.
5.37am and Alex Carey receives yet another cricketing “life” as he’s given out when on 30 runs but via the Decision Review System (DRS) is reprieved and still not out. He has now added a further 11 crucial runs since being bowled out on a no ball 40 minutes or so ago.
5.41am MITCHELL STARC caught Pope bowled Wood (1).
Australia fall to 121–8 as Starc edges into his pad for a sharp but simple catch to Ollie Pope, giving Mark Wood a “Michelle Pfieffer” or “5for” as he’s now deservedly snagged his 5th wicket of the innings. England Captain Joe Root deserves great credit for the wicket too by spurring on his fast bowler and giving him Ollie Pope so close in as an attacking catcher. With 2 wickets remaining, the Test Match is very much in the balance and England are in a competitive position at long, long last in this Series.
5.43am and Pat Cummins is given out Leg Before Wicket with the first brilliant ball received from the in form Wood, but immediately refers it to the DRS and is reprieved. Wood is literally and figuratively “steaming in” and so deserving of his wickets so far, if not on this particular occasion.
6am Australia 141–8 at Lunch. The hosts have added 104 runs in this opening session for the loss of 5 wickets and hold an intimidating lead of 256 runs. Alex Carey remains not out on 40 runs at Lunch and has added an invaluable 21 further runs since being bowled on that Chris Woakes no ball. These runs may come back to haunt England and with Australia already 256 runs in front this looks a tough task for England and as prophesised yesterday, they’ve bowled themselves into a difficult run chase and Australia may just have batted that into an impossible one. Time will tell.
SECOND SESSION: Australia 155 all out. England 68–1 (203 runs to win).
7.03am ALEX CAREY caught Billings bowled Broad (49).
Carey falls early in the second session and just 1 short of his half century. But crucially he’s garnered a further 30 runs since being given that extra life over 2 hours ago. Those runs could prove invaluable later today or even early tomorrow morning.
7.10am PAT CUMMINS bowled Wood (13).
The brilliant, effervescent and never stopping Mark Wood takes his 6th wicket of the innings which finally ends the Australian second “dig” on a total of 155 and giving them a huge lead of 270. England have indeed bowled their way to a difficult total to chase for a win and based on this beleaguered tour the amount of runs needed in this chase look at least 50 too many. But England are very much in the game, in a competitive game, and it’s game on!
Mark Wood is deserving of a special mention before the commencement of the England run chase as he finished with the unreal figures of 6 wickets for just 37 runs. Throughout the entire Series he’s kept on running in and giving his absolute everything to every delivery bowled and I’m made up for him today as he’s thoroughly deserved each and every one of those six precious wickets.
8.07am Under the watchful guidance of opening batsmen Zak Crawley (22) and Rory Burns (19), England are 221 runs away from an unlikely win as their openers pass their 50 run partnership. Both batsmen have enjoyed a fair slice of luck but have equally batted straight, purposely and with an emphasis on scoring and not just surviving. At 50–0, England are now both favourites and “ahead” in the Test Match, although 221 further runs are still a long way into the distance yet.
8.38am RORY BURNS bowled Green (26).
Two minutes until the Tea Break and disaster strikes for England and their opening batsman Rory Burns. Twice in quick succession Burns had narrow escapes as he survived a Leg Before Wicket appeal from the impressive Scott Boland and just bounced a defensive shot narrowly over his stumps. Here though he wasn’t as fortunate as he, in the cricketing vernacular “played on” or “chopped on” and deflected a ball defensively, but decisively, into his own stumps. Burns batted well for his 26 runs, and England enter the Tea Break at 68–1 with a further 203 runs needed for an unlikely and improbable victory. But they’re in a competitive contest and they are at least (last?) competing.
Stumps on Day 3: England 124 all out. Australia win by 146 runs.
Reading the above, and with England on 68 runs for the loss of only 1 wicket at the Tea Break you may be rubbing your eyes as to how they collapsed (again), losing their last 9 wickets for just 56 runs and losing by a huge 146 runs in the process. From a position of strength (or at the very least competitive and with a real chance of winning), they collapsed dreadfully, and embarrassingly, yet again. Here’s the tale of woe:
9.21am DAWID MALAN bowled Green (10).
Malan looked positive and full of purpose with 2 early 4’s but his dismissal was eerily reminiscent of Rory Burns above as he “chopped on”, deflecting the ball into his leg stump and he was gone, and England are now 82–2.
9.30am ZAK CRAWLEY caught Carey bowled Green (36).
After a nervous start Crawley grew into his innings and played some textbook shots on his way to 36 but a loose drive to a good ball from Green led to a faint edge to wicket keeper Carey and England are now 83–3 and the usual collapse appears imminent. They have lost 3 wickets for 15 runs and the Aussies are truly rampant now, led by the giant Cameron Green.
9.56am BEN STOKES caught Lyon bowled Starc (5).
Now on 92–4 all thoughts of a slap and dash run chase are gone and I fear the game too as England have now lost their top 4 wickets for just 24 runs. Stokes hooked Starc’s short pitched ball into the diving hands of Nathan Lyon and the game appears to be up and England are collapsing again.
10.14am Drinks Break England are 101–4 and need a further 170 runs to win. The break was brought forward due to a broken bat for Joe Root who has scored 11 runs so far and so much rides on the England Skipper. As has been said ad nauseum, the England Skipper always has to score big or otherwise the team he leads won’t. Root simply has to bat until the close and hope no further wickets fall around him in the process.
10.18am JOE ROOT bowled Boland (11).
The game is effectively over and Captain Root can only wryly smile as he departs bowled by Aussie cult hero Scott Boland with a “grubber” of a delivery that barely bounced and crashed into his stumps. There was nothing the England Captain could do, but unless there’s a miracle, the game is over, the match is done, and a painful Ashes Series for the Yorkshireman will be behind him.
10.35am SAM BILLINGS caught Cummins bowled Boland (1).
Billings is the 6th to go and England are reeling and collapsing out of sight at 107–6. It was a tame dismissal but Billings has been an able and emergency deputy in this last Test Match.
10.41am OLLIE POPE bowled Cummins (5).
6 minutes later, Pope plays a strange shot and is clean bowled by Aussie Skipper Pat Cummins and England are 107–7 and have lost these 7 wickets for just 39 runs.
10.49am CHRIS WOAKES caught Carey bowled Boland (5).
Scott Boland takes another deserved wicket and via a brilliant catch from his wicket keeper behind the stumps. It wasn’t pretty from Woakes, it definitely was from wicket keeper Carey, and it’s all rather limp and embarrassing now from England.
10.53am MARK WOOD bowled Cummins (11).
Australia are 1 wicket away from demolishing England in Hobart under the floodlights, and in quite the dramatic fashion indeed.
10.56am OLLIE ROBINSON bowled Cummins (0).
Fittingly Australian Captain Pat Cummins takes the final wicket of this Ashes series as the side he leads have trounced England both here by a mammoth 146 runs and by 4–0 in the 5 match series.
Afterword
At around 9am this morning I had the slightest of high hopes that England would not just make this a genuine contest and a fitting conclusion to the series but to run their Aussie hosts close. But with the weight of history (only 6 Test Match wins in over 34 years and 11 years since a last Test victory) and Scott Boland’s annoying habit of taking vital wickets at vital times, they collapsed again and collapsed badly and collapsed embarrassingly. They lost their 10 2nd innings wickets for just 56 runs and yes the Aussies were rampant, yes it was under the lights and with a pink ball and a baying partisan crowd, but this happens again and again to this England team. I’ll be penning a “de-brief” of sorts as this appears to be common in my country whenever there’s a sporting or political scandal, so I won’t tread on my own toes here.
Suffice to say, as Noon breaks here in the UK, bringing an end to my own cricketing odyssey this Winter and a cricket series an entire world away from my own, it’s been a hell of a ride and for the first time since the opening ball on the opening day all those weeks ago England had a chance of victory today. Less than two hours later they were defeated. Heavily defeated and in quite ignominious circumstances too, and this simply has to change. Remember when golf’s Ryder Cup became mundane and non-competitive as the USA won at a canter every time? Without looking at the statistics I believe the last 3 Ashes series in Australia have finished 5–0, 4–0 and 4–0 in favour of a dominating host team and that’s a huge ship to be turned around. The ship’s Skipper Joe Root needs both help and persuading that there’s a team, and 15/15 other competitive players that he and a coaching team can develop into a competitive team, and not only once every 4 years in Australia for an Ashes series.
England’s collapse was as predictable as it was embarrassing and not really becoming of such an auspicious cricketing occasion. Alas it happened, as it’s happened so many times before. Hearty congratulations to Australia for their comprehensive win and despite the allegiances I’ve thoroughly enjoyed spending so many of my recent early mornings watching you play some wonderful Test Match cricket.
Time for breakfast! Thanks for reading and if you’ve read any of my previously penned ramblings on these Ashes Test Matches, thank you for reading these day by day diarised journal entries and I hope they’ve entertained you in some way along the way.