Tea and Biscuits at The Ashes
The Gabba, Brisbane, Day 1: England win the unwinnable toss and are bundled out for just 147. Australia on top.
The Gabba, Brisbane, Day 1: England win the unwinnable toss and are bundled out for just 147. Australia on top.
Before I commence with the day’s play, can I please direct you to the following two links that hopefully give you a flavour for your sofa bound, sleep deprived and biscuit munching narrator:
A cricketing journey
Why I’m going to Australia at 2am this winter for lunch and why cricket memories never fail to make me smile.medium.com
Tea and Biscuits at The Ashes
The Final Countdown. 2 sleeps. 3 days. 2 nights? I’ve lost count as the battle for the Ashes begins to flicker into…medium.com
MORNING SESSION: England 59–4 (Hameed 25 N.O. Pope 17 N.O.)
At 12.01am, and with the wind howling outside and bending the nearby trees to match the teeming and driving sideways rain, The Ashes finally got underway at The Gabba, Brisbane, and just 60 seconds later we had been treated to our first sight this Winter of “Daddles The Duck” as it accompanied England opening batsman Rory Burns back to the cricketing shed. For only the 4th time in Ashes history the very first ball of the series resulted in a wicket, and a poor one at that for Burns and England as he toppled over playing (and missing) a half volley and lost his leg stump comprehensively. Mitchell Starc had struck with his first delivery and within 20 minutes of the opening day’s play England were 11–2 after Hazlewood dispensed with Malan and already England’s talismanic Skipper was called to the wicket.
In the “preview” blog above I only predicted one event for this Ashes and that the opening session at The Gabba could be and inevitably would be, carnage. I also stated that England’s Skipper had to win the toss and when doing so, bat big and carry his team to large first innings totals. But the key is the carnage I’m afraid! Backed by the soul crushing tales of “bio bubbles”, distancing from relatives, no competitive cricket and England’s sole win in over 34 years of trying “Down Under” meant opening day carnage. Root looked solid until he received an unplayable delivery from that bowling pest Josh Hazlewood before a similar pest in the shape of Pat Cummins speared another unplayable delivery to England’s great white hope in Ben Stokes and England were toppling (and collapsing) at 4 wickets down, both of their talismanic batters back in the shed and less than 50 on the scoreboard. Ollie Pope and particularly Haseeb Hameed steadied the ship to a lunchtime score of 59–4 and England desperately need Hameed, in that Chris Tavare way about him, to still be batting at Tea. Captain Root will be leading those cheers for his opening batsman and can’t be blamed for his decision to bat first or his individual dismissal, but the Aussies are firmly on top and if, if, England collapse this afternoon, Australia could be well on top and verging on the out of sight, come the end of play today.
AFTERNOON SESSION: England 147 all out.
It’s 4.39am and at a slightly early Tea interval England have been “rolled” or “routed” or simply blown away by their Australian hosts, and after winning the toss, England have been skittled for an incredibly low, if predictable, 147. Sadly, Hameed couldn’t hold up an end ala Chris Tavare of old and was dismissed early in the afternoon before a 50+ partnership between a busy, single taking and strike revolving Ollie Pope and the very impressive controlled attacking batting of Jos Buttler. With both Pope and Buttler in their 30’s and England creeping over 100 the Australian commentators (a pretty dour bunch on Fox Sports Australia) and Shane Warne in particular were touting that the tourists could top 220/250 and have a reasonably competitive total. Now I’m not labelling “Waaaaaaaarney” in the dour category, he was just being ultra competitive and ultra positive, as were both Pope and Buttler, but they fell in quick succession, and thanks only to a relatively quick fire 21 from Chris Woakes ensured England limped to a rather depressing, if predictable again, low total of 147. If Shane Warne’s optimistic total of 250 was, well, optimistic and positive, England’s final total of less than 150 is at least another 150 short of a “Par” and competitive total.
The storm clouds are gathering at Brisbane, both inside the England dressing room and The Gabba itself and I fear rain. If not, I fear Australia may knock a huge chunk off England’s total by the close of play and if those dark clouds pass, they could be within touching distance of England’s total come 8am UK time.
EVENING SESSION:
At 5.10am UK time, and with the driving rain hitting the windows here in England matching that of the now biblical rain storm of Brisbane I headed to bed in the knowledge that more play today seemed unrealistic and that sleep was calling me. Restless and listless sleep later, I hear talk in the background of the rain storm being cleared away, the covers coming off and a possible 30/45 minutes of play could still be possible, but when I awoke at 8.10am, it was clear that play had been abandoned for the day and that, dear readers, leaves the hosting Australian team fully on top after the first day of the 2021/22 Ashes.
Joe Root’s decision to bat first on a somewhat “green top” wicket and cloudy and muggy overhead conditions will no doubt be under the cricketing microscope, but the old adage still holds true in my humble opinion: Win the Toss and Bat. But England simply didn’t bat. 147 is 150 short on this wicket but it was an eerie signal of England’s usual failings: losing early wickets, bringing the Skipper to the crease after only 20 minutes and then the slow and gradual collapse to a dreadfully low score. England would’ve loved that 30/45 minute period to perhaps skittle an Aussie wicket or three but here’s the rub:
The Test Match starts again afresh (kind of) at Midnight tonight, and Root needs two hours of the opening morning session to be all England and to force the Australians into a contest. If the Hosts are 90–1 at Lunch tomorrow, well, we could all be watching Steve Smith rack a century before Tea. But that’s all for tomorrow.
Today is easily summed up thus: England are undercooked and look it. Perhaps if Root had taken the brave decision to insert a similarly undercooked Australian batting line up instead of taking the decision for his England to bat first, we’d have seen a similar Australian collapse. Time will tell. 100% Australian day and for their Vice-Captain, sorry, Captain, a dream one. A “Michelle Pfeiffer” in cricketing parlance, or a “Fifer”, or a plain old 5 wickets FOR 38 runs. At the end of Day One, his side are fully on top and England need to make use of the conditions in the first two hours before tomorrow’s lunch break.
