Tea and Biscuits at The Ashes
The Final Countdown. 2 sleeps. 3 days. 2 nights? I’ve lost count as the battle for the Ashes begins to flicker into view
The Final Countdown. 2 sleeps. 3 days. 2 nights? I’ve lost count as the battle for the Ashes begins to flicker into view
I don’t watch a lot of news. As with Bill Hicks insightful jibe at the mass media from over 30 years ago pictured below, nothing much has changed, unless of course you believe it’s gotten much, much worse. I have no desire to watch a shiny headed, fake smiling, talking head tell me constantly during a “News” broadcast that we’re all going to die. Who needs that in their life? Not me Jack. So I consume my “news” via podcasts (a lot of podcasts), the occasional snippet from www.youtube.com and in terms of cricketing news from a Horseman named “Dennis”. And the recent “skinny” my informant provided gave me cause for quite some concern. Dennis whispered tales of an ex England Captain being cancelled, a current Australian Captain being cancelled too on sexual misconduct grounds and from the mountain of podcasts I’ve listened to it seems the hosts have a new Captain which to my cynical ears sounds much like the old Captain has sandpapered the cracks away from his past indiscretions and is in fact the “new” Australian Captain.
Skulduggery is always afoot before the start of a cricketing Ashes Series and it’s truly started in earnest this time around.
The podcasts I’ve listened to recently have all weaved tales of unseasonal rain, a lack of competitive cricket for both sides, indecision as to who could/should be in the starting XI and indeed if a star player or three is actually fit enough to start. There’s mounting concern as to whether the families of the touring England team will be able to join or follow their husbands/fathers on this tour, the players themselves being wrapped ever tighter in “bio secure” bubbles that are leading to ever widening worries as to the player’s mental as well as their physical well being. These are strange times indeed.
There’s also some talk of the normally rigid 5 Test Series being played at the traditional grounds of Sydney, Melbourne et al being rather more fluid this year and liable to change or move, and according to the podcasts providing me with any semblance of news from “Down Under”, Brisbane is a no go for press and commentary teams and the whole reporting has a feel of the 1980’s to it, of whispered rumours from far away lands wrapped in mystique and unknowing. Or in this case a Bio bubble, instigated by a human bubble and Harry Potter lookalike, who not only appears drunk on the power in his wizarding Australian hands, he appears as pissed as a sailor on shore leave after spending 27 consecutive years at the depths of an ocean in a claustrophobic submarine. But we’re not here to discuss geo totalitarian politics that’s driving a wedge between free thinking societies! We’re here to preview the cricket, as, well, I don’t watch a lot of news.
As was aptly demonstrated in my World Series Baseball predictions, I am not much of a Nostradamus. Nor it seems is Glenn McGrath who shied away from his usual 5–0 prediction even though you could hear his soul screaming silently for him to do so. I won’t predict a score-line but I will predict one single and simple thing:
The opening morning at Brisbane could see a wicket tumbling couple of hours of carnage! It’s a midnight start for us Poms, so treat yourself to these couple of sporting hours and take the morning off work. Who needs work when it could be 62–7 at 2am on a Wednesday morning and you’re talking yourself into “just another hour” after the lunch break?
With a lack of competitive cricket, bio bubbles, the start of an Ashes series, a new Aussie Captain (and not the one who wears the fancy jacket when tossing the coin before the match) and of course an England Captain with the literal weight of the entire team on his Yorkshire shoulders, the opening exchanges in Brisbane could indeed be carnage and whilst not necessarily signalling the Series as a whole, could be a lot of fun.
Root needs to be lucky when he himself dons the fancy jacket for the flipping of the coin, and he needs to make HUGE runs when he wins the toss, elects to bat, and every time he wins that coin toss, his team need to follow him and in the cricketing vernacular, “bat big”. Make a large first innings score, and then bore the Aussies into submission!
Anyway, I’m just hoping for a semblance of normality in the land of our Australian cousins, players having the warmth of their surrounding families and a lot more freedom outside of these faintly ridiculous “bubbles”, and a freedom and verve and aggression and testiness and some good old fashioned sledging thrown in for good measure.
Captains Smith and Cook thrive in such circumstances, and it makes great sporting television at 4.47am and you’re waiting for the kettle (and the cricketing action) to come to the boil.
Day by Day blogs coming up, from the comfort of a sofa and the mad ramblings of a sleep deprived mind. See you Tuesday night!
