“The Dark Arts” and other tall tales from the World Cup
World Cup Diaries: Day 22.
World Cup Diaries: Day 22.
12th December 2022
Hey Bubba!
We’re nearly there my old friend! Down to the Last 4 amid walking football and referees as blind as a Wuhan bat. There’s been some “Dark Arts” apparently, my home nation disappeared in their usual mélange of murky malarkey and VAR continues to destroy the remaining vestiges of what was once the beautiful game. I dream of the day that intervening bureaucratic machine of doom is encased in 10 miles of concrete and buried in the world’s deepest ocean, and I can dream Bubba. You just watch me! Those other soul sucking bureaucratic authorities can’t stop me dreaming.
Not yet anyway.
As you’ll have read in my daily diaries here, I thought Croatia too old and a tournament too far to beat Brazil but they twistedly deserved their victory over the tournament favourites. Argentina first comprehensively won, then threw away, a guaranteed win for a penalty shoot-out victory instead over a one-paced Netherlands. I was as pleased as punch to see Morocco being the underdog we all aspire to be and I believe England thoroughly outplayed and outthought the defending champions before, as is seemingly scripted, contrived to lose a game their adventurous and attacking style of play deemed them worthy winners of.
Thus is tournament football, Bubba. Thus is life.
So we have the showdowns between “The Vatreni” and “Albicelestes”, “The Atlas Lions” and “Les Bleus” and whilst I’m hoping and dreaming of a final between a heavy underdog Morocco and an overwhelming favourite in Argentina, I’m expecting two dogged and low scoring affairs on Tuesday and Wednesday that see Croatia and France facing off on Sunday for the right to be called World Champions, just as they did in Moscow four years ago.
The dark arts eh Bubba? Have these people lost both their memories as well as their minds? And who are these fools? Maybe it’s because I’m like the lead character in Christopher Nolan’s Memento, old memories are readily available but newer ones? Less so. Perhaps that’s why I snorted so heavily when I heard that Argentina had used “The Dark Arts” when defeating Netherlands on Friday. The Dark Arts?
Please.
In the immediacy of wanting instant gratification today, memories of yesterday are all these young fools have now Bubba. Not for them the memories, or at least the footballing research, of the real and darkest of all dark arts of yesteryear. Not for them the “animals” as described by England manager Sir Alf Ramsey of the Argentina team his team defeated 1–0 in the quarter-final of the 1966 World Cup, and the ignominious sending off of their captain Antonio Rattin. Nor perhaps that horrible team who kicked their way through and out of “Espana ‘82” when they were supposed to be defending their honour as well as their World Cup title.
“Hand of God” in Mexico City anyone? How about that horrible, borderline despicable team who again tried to kick their way to defending their second World Cup title in 1990 before losing to West Germany in a repulsive final oft cited and quoted as one of the worst possible advertisements for football and of course, Argentina also had a player sent off almost immediately after coming on as substitute, the first ever dismissal in a World Cup final. Maradona’s drug test failure at “USA ‘94” masked an unlikeable team before, in the last century alone of these acts of footballing darkness, lest we forget that snide and snarky team who lost to their old rivals and European foes the Netherlands in a quarter-final decided in the last minute by Dennis Bergkamp and who’d dumped England out in the round prior in a penalty shoot-out, and after Diego Simeone had darkly and underhandedly got David Beckham sent off.
Those are “dark arts” my friend, not the shenanigans before, during and after their typically crazy victory of those old Dutch fighting foes. Sure the game descended into anarchy at one stage and I genuinely feared for the next tackle in the game. Their collective action and mocking joy as they began to celebrate their lottery success in the penalty shoot-out was distasteful, but dark arts? Does nobody have any long term memory any more? Scrub that. Anybody know of the recent bitter feud between the teams let alone Lionel Messi’s personal battle with the referee, and a referee who lost all control on Friday night?
I’m not defending them. Perish the thought. The Argentina national team have been dreadful for years and wholly dependent upon an otherworldly genius to carry them. Quixotically, they carry him. When Lionel Messi is indeed otherworldly, Argentina appear to have 12 white and light blue shirts on the field. As he’s aged and his Godlike powers have diminished along with his pace, they play as though they have 10 men. So the team around Messi has to be a team. Simply has to be. This isn’t a great Argentina team, not even close, but they’ve made it to the semi-finals and hence there’s only 3 teams ahead of them now to that vaunted title of World Cup champions. This particular narky and snidey team are no different from the teams who made the finals in 2006 and 2014 and I hope they do so again by defeating Croatia tomorrow night and go one step up from defeated finalists on Sunday.
I can dream. Those bureaucratic killjoys haven’t outlawed it.
Not yet anyway.
Much love Bubba, I’ll be in touch before the final but please
Send word.
Thanks for reading. In addition to the delights that can be found within the cave of wonders that is my archives, I’m penning a day to day diary of the World Cup, and here are days 19 through 21:
England are coming home as Morocco shock the world. Again!
World Cup Diaries: Day 21.medium.com
Argentina and Croatia in a shoot-out for the World Cup Final
World Cup Diaries: Day 20.medium.com
World Cup quarter-finals, and the “Hand of God”
World Cup Diaries: Day 19.medium.com